Mr Rupert Soames
Hey chaps and chapesses! Rupert “Soapy” Soames here. Its hard to have Winston Churchill as your Grandfather and always know I was destined to be incredibly rich. I got the nickname “Soapy” because of my job to clean up our act at Serco. Apparently people had called us “abusive”, “racist” and “corrupt” a few too many times.
I said, OK guys, lets just stick to what we do best, and we are really good at getting £1.9 billion to house Asylum Seekers and then evict them and then house more again. Its seamless. Sure our work has been called “morally bankrupt”. But tell that to the £23.5 million sitting in my bank account. If you call that bankrupt, you cant do simple maths.
I love working as a public service private contractor. The government is like a parent who will hear no wrong said about you and will keep sending you money well after leaving home and they know you’re just spending it on drugs. They just love us so deeply.
My grandfather would be proud.